Obscurity Knocks

Earnest, empathetic, industrious, unpretentious, gay Virgo in Milwaukee with a great life, amazing friends, and a wonderful family.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Boyfriend update

I haven't blogged about Bobby in a while because I don't want to jinx this relationship. Plus I'm afraid that he might find these posts and who knows how he would react. I would be flattered, but I could see others being embarrassed. Suffice it to say that things are going very well. Is he perfect? Of course not. Am I perfect? Um, hardly! Are we both enjoying spending time together and getting to know each other better? Absolutely!

Last week I walked into my office to find a fruit and chocolate basket sitting on my desk. Here's the card: "Thinking of you has made me smile. I hope that you enjoyed Columbus. I'm looking forward to seeing you all next weekend. Love, Bobby" Yes, it was signed "Love, Bobby." Yes, that make me incredibly happy. Might I have finally found a man for the long haul? Yes!

Since I last wrote about this, we've had quite a few dates. This past weekend we made dinner together at his condo. The following day we did a charity walk, then had brunch with his parents. Then we headed to Milwaukee, hit wiffle balls with a plastic bat at Back Bay Park, and had dinner with my parents, Dave (brother), and Sara (sister-in-law) for my mom's birthday.

Meeting the parents is pretty serious, you say. True. My outlook is this: both of us are 34. It's not like you're 24 and you could be dating someone different next week. This feels right, so I'm going with that. I told him that I wouldn't introduce just anyone to my family, so that this was special. He appreciated that, felt the same way, and neither one of us was concerned or worried about meeting the respective parents. Bobby was a big hit with my family, and he tells me that I made a favorable impression on his parents. My mom was most impressed with how he treated me, and she was pleasantly surprised that Bobby gave her a birthday card and gift. That's just one example of how he is a thoughtful and sweet person.

I think that I'm going to be invited to spend part of Memorial Day weekend at his family's cottage, but am not certain yet.

I can say this: I have learned a lot about what to do and what not to do from my prior dating experience and my one 3.5 year relationship (that ended in 2004). I am grateful for that wisdom, yet I still worry about screwing this up. I also think that I'm hyper-conscious about looking for issues because of my prior experience. For example, I dated a narcissist for about a month in December 2006, and now I'm always on the lookout for narcissistic tendencies in a guy. Fortunately, I don't see those in Bobby. My ex could be really mean, so I'm especially aware of any meanness. Fortunately, Bobby isn't mean - just the opposite.

I'm enjoying this and appreciating it for what it is: a very special relationship that I think has a great deal of long-term potential. But I'm not worrying about the future and doing my best to smile, have fun, and enjoy it. Bobby makes that pretty easy.

I have to pinch myself because I haven't been this happy in a long time.


Anonymous Lesley Maness said...

I'm so happy for you, Honey!!!

9:35 PM  

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