Woman Done Wrong

The third, and best, CD that Ruben and Mark gave me is entitled "Woman Done Wrong."

1. I Hate Men; From "Kiss Me, Kate"

2. If Looks Could Kill; Heart

3. You Ain't Woman Enough; Loretta Lynn

4. The Night That the Lights Went Out in Georgia; Vicki Lawrence

5. You're No Good; Linda Ronstadt

6. Gloria; Laura Branigan

7. Jolene; Dolly Parton

8. Girlfriend; Pebbles

9. Nobody; Sylvia

10. Cold Hearted Snake; Paula Abdul

11. Woman to Woman; Barbara Mandrell

12. I Will Survive; Gloria Gaynor

I've been a fan of Loretta Lynn for many years. Her life story, depicted in the film, "Coal Miner's Daughter," tells of her rise to country stardom from the mountains of Kentucky. "You Ain't Woman Enough" is one of her finest autobiographical compositions that she wrote after her husband had a dalliance with another woman. It includes the lines:

"It'll be over my dead body

So get out while you can,

Cause you ain't woman enough to take my man.

No, you ain't woman enough to take my man."

So Ruben and Mark knew that they had a winner with this Loretta Lynn composition.

The unexpected surprise on "Woman Done Wrong" was "Woman to Woman" by Barbara Mandrell, pictured above. "Woman to Woman" has the absolute best spoken introduction of any song I have ever heard:

"Hello,

You don't know who this is, but,

The reason I'm callin' you is because

I was going through my man's pockets this morning

And I just happened to find your name and number.

So, woman to woman,

I don't think it's wrong to call.

Now, I don't know how you're gonna take this,

You might even hang up the phone.

But you see,

It really doesn't make any difference,

And it's only fair that I let you know

That that man that you've been seeing,

He's mine,

And I love him.

So, woman to woman,

I think you'll understand..."

This introduction by Ms. Mandrell is so amazingly exciting and excellent that I actually did have to pull my car over to the side of the road on my way home from work to listen to it a second time. If you are seeking genius, look no further than this song's intro.

You have to admire Barbara's gumption and assertiveness in standing up to the other woman. Just like Loretta Lynn, Barbara Mandrell isn't afraid to put the other woman in her place and let her know that she's going to fight for her man.

There was a moment in the summer of 2004 when I should have taken Loretta Lynn and Barbara Mandrell's example. I found another man's name and number in my man's pockets. Well, actually in his cell phone call log, but close enough. Contrary to my usual personality as someone who fights for what he believes in, I looked the the way, and our relationship ended about a month later. He left me for the other man.

In discussing "Woman to Woman" with Lesley, she raised a good point. Lesley argued that instead of directing her ire at the other woman, Barbara Mandrell should instead be awfully angry with her man. After all, he's the one that cheated on Barbara. The other woman might not even know that the guy she slept with is Barbara Mandrell's man. Good point. Lesley also suggested that the two women should join together in solidarity and recognize that men cheat and are scumbags. Barbara Mandrell should leave her philandering man and either be single or find a guy who is loyal to her. After all, she's a talented musician and country music legend who used to have an NBC television program, "Barbara Mandrell and the Mandrell Sisters." She doesn't need any man who is going to cheat on her. She can, and should, do better than that.

Nevertheless, I appreciate Barbara's willingness to stand up for what she believes in, even if it's a cheating, low-life man.

I'm trying to convince Ruben and Mark that we should be Barbara Mandrell and the Mandrell Sisters for Barbie's Halloween party next year. Mark would have to be Irlene, since she was the most attractive, and Mark looks the best in drag. Ruben would be Louise since she was the brunette. Which means, I guess, that I'd have to be Barbara herself. I'm happy to be one of the supporting characters, so maybe I should think again about this Halloween costume idea. Although it sure would be fun.