I Don't Know How to Love Him

So I met this guy named J. He has an extremely positive disposition, is very friendly, and happens to be incredibly cute. He's about two years older than me. After a number of good conversations, I asked him to lunch; we went to Jimmy John's. Since that went well, we next went to dinner at La Perla at his suggestion. He bought dinner, and we talked at the table for two hours after finishing our meal. Since he loves creme brulee, I suggested dinner at Elliot's Bistro for our next meeting. We had a great dinner at Elliot's and split a bottle of wine. The conversation went so well that we ended up walking to my condo after dinner. We discovered a mutual interest in 80s Swatches and in freestyle music. So my reason for inviting him back to my condo was to show him my 80s Swatches. After doing that, we ended up sitting in front of my computer listening to freestyle music and watching two videos on YouTube: "Stay" by Shakespeare's Sister and "Operator" by Midnight Star. He said that "You're My One and Only" by Seduction was one of his favorite songs. I didn't have it, so I downloaded it at his suggestion. On the advice of friends, I touched his arm, hand, and leg numerous times when we were at the computer, and he didn't pull away. Unfortunately, he didn't really return the favor, so not sure what to make of that. In any event, it was most definitely the best date that I've been on in many years.

Thinking that things were progressing nicely, last Thursday I asked if he wanted to get together over the weekend. He emailed back saying that he was going to be out of town. Unfortunately, he didn't suggest getting together this week. We talked in person yesterday and then exchanged emails. He sent me a nice message this morning, but again, no suggestion of getting together.

I'm not sure what to think. It's possible that he's not comfortable with his sexuality. It's also possible that he's on the shy side and wants me to make the moves, which I'm happy to do, provided he's open to them. So far he has been, but I want to be careful not to overstep my bounds.

The more I get to know him, the more I like him. Unfortunately, he’s on the shy side and/or isn't comfortable being gay, which would not bode well for a relationship. I’m trying to be confident and positive, but then I over-analyze everything and just want to tell him that I really like him. He’s the nicest guy I’ve dated in YEARS, so it would be great if something comes of this. In other words, I worry about screwing things up.

Am I that different from most people in that I’d love it if someone told me that he liked me or had a crush on me? My friends, who I trust, are cautioning me not to do or say anything like that, and I respect their advice. But why not try to move it along to the proverbial next level. If not kissing, maybe hand-holding?

I'm thinking about it so much because, as I mentioned, the more I get to know him, the more I like him. Plus I think that we complement each other quite well and I could see us having a relationship.

Time will tell.

My confusion about how to proceed with J is the reason why my theme song of the moment is "I Don't Know How to Love Him" from Jesus Christ Superstar.